Nun playing golf
A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it."
"When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder nun.
"Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 metres, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 metres."
"Is that when you swore?"
"No, Mother Superior," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away."
"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior again.
"Well, no." says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"
"Of course, and THAT's when you swore!" said the amazed elder nun.
"No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Well, did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient.
"No, because the ball stopped about 50 cm from the hole."
The two nuns were silent for a moment.
Then Mother Superior sighed and said, "You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?"