Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

Recently, I was diagnosed with AAADD — Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests itself:

I decide to wash my car. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table; put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first. But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.I take my chequebook off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left.

My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking. I’m going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye — they need to be watered. I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers. I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.At the end of the day: the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren’t watered, there is still only one cheque in my chequebook, I can’t find the remote, can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys. Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today.

I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired. I realise this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it.

Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming.

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