A rectum stretcher

While I was "flying" down the road yesterday in my sports car (ie:30 kph over the limit), I passed over a bridge only to find a copper with a radar gun on the other side laying in wait.

The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

“Oh yeah," said the copper, "What do you do?"

“I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The copper was obviously unsure and asked, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

“Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 foot wide."

“And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot arsehole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

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